Love and Anger

So very much on my mind...where to start? The man I love, seems like a great place to start since he is what is most on my mind. Right now, I worry I am not enough. Not good enough, not smart enough, can I make him truly happy? I want him truly happy and fulfilled in every way. I have never in my life felt so insecure, vulnerable, raw, so exposed. I have never felt so happy, so fulfilled, so taken care of, I can feel what he feels for me when he kisses me. We have both been married before, both of us twice, but this feels so very different. I dont just want to take care of him or meet his needs, I want him HAPPY, fulfilled, glowing! I want him to know in his soul, every single moment, how much I love him. I want to fall asleep every night holding him, wake every morning to his voice, lay in his arms. Such warm sweet, warm kisses and carresses. When we make love, the world stands still and quakes all at once. I watch him in pain..I watch the anger. I hate it!! I know what its doing to him. I know it is eating at him. He has woken up in my bed, angry. That tears my heart out and there is nothing I can do about it. Nothing but support him and love him. SHOW him every single day! Support him in whatever is happening for him. When I try to write about him, words dont seem adequate. Words seem so very mundane and far too simple for what I feel. For all of my education...words just dont seem to be enough. I want to reach in and take all the hurt and pain away, make him see that life can be beautiful again.

I hate, yes HATE what she is doing to him. It is wrong on so many levels. What gives anyone the right to be so selfish, hateful and immature? What makes her think it will be tolerated with everyone else in her life? Who made her think this was ok? Getting angry again just thinking about it. I understand why he gets so very angry about her. He spent his entire life working toward a goal. A great, secure retirement.. only to have it ripped away twice! I have never said, let it go. I dont think letting it go is the answer. Putting into its proper place I think is what is more appropriate. Get angry!! Be furious!! He has every right to be!! There is a point that it needs to have its proper place..when it is destroying your health. Anger will eventually erode your soul from the inside out.